dear mr. bourdain,
i must thank you from the depths of my soul for introducing me to {THIS} most excellent chef. you have created the best christmas EVER by allowing me to experience {THIS} and {THIS} episode. it is only what i could describe as freaking AWESOME! you have no idea just how much this has made my holiday season. you absolutely rock (as always).
sincerely your creepy stalker fan,
jane
p.s. when are you planning to leave your wife? because i totally would like a chance.
seriously.
(i don't think my husband would mind....)
