welcome to the bad mommy club. enjoy the cookies, and come and go as you need!
SO, i've been feeling like a VERY bad mommy lately. i get into these fazes from time to time. going to bed way to late, getting up even later as to rely on either the mister or worse my 7 year old to tend to peoples needs. i've been grumpy, a grouch, a meany. snapping at my kids at first wrong doing. *SIGH* it's definitely not my proudest time. i've delved down deep inside to try and find my reasons for being so incapable of dealing with my children at these times. are my children REALLY THAT out of control? is my house REALLY THAT messy? do i REALLY NEED to stay up this late or sleep in? no. not really. but i've been truly lazy and selfish. do you ever feel like that? just wanting something for yourself? feeling completely smothered and becoming out of control with selfishness because of it? i might be the only one, and that's okay because i know the signs when i've gone to far. this time it was saturday night. elise and michelle had gone to a friends house to watch a movie, the mister was out and i was home looking forward to a quiet night in with just wesley. and then it happened. michelle came home early, and instead of wanting to get ready for bed, she just wanted to play and play and play. now in my "normal mommy" thinking i would have been fine for her to have some quality time home with her brother and mom, since church was in the afternoon the next day a few hours past her bedtime wouldn't be so bad. but not this time. i became obsessed with her interrupting my night and proceeded to get her into her night clothes while she fussed and cried all the while, hoping for her to just go to sleep. it didn't work. she wanted some water, she wanted a hug... the excuses abounded. i kept getting more and more wound up. i finally saw michelle playing ever so sweetly with her brother and his delight of her attention, and my craziness took over and i heard myself yelling "michelle, stop playing with your brother and go to bed!" then it hit me. bad mommy mode. do i REALLY want my daughter to not know the joy of having a brother? do i not want to see just the sweet spirit she is and how she can be so kind and loving? i stopped myself in mid-stride and decided to put "bad mommy mode" off and a normal good natured mom in place. and in that time, michelle only needed a short 20 minutes of love and attention from her mom and brother before she declared herself tired and ready for bed. where she STAYED in bed the rest of the night. *SIGH* so, once again bad mommy has enjoyed her cookies and has moved on. hopefully she won't be back for a while.
