for you, my dear friend.

me, my good friend mark and trinity

SO, i met trinity my 8th grade year of school. we became fast friends and had much in common. before i realized it she was my best friend, i consider her my other half. my soul mate in female form. she was born in england when her dad was stationed there with the military. her dad used to knock her mom around while she was pregnant with her, so when they got back to the states her mom left and moved in with her parents which is what all trinity knew. her mom was amazing, and they were so close.
i never have had a friend like trinity before or since. i told her everything that i ever thought, every horrible thing that had ever happened to me and all my dreams and hopes for my future. and she did the same. she wanted to be a doctor, a wife and a mom. she would have made the most amazing doctor and the most loving mom.

we grew up, matured and were still so close until our senior year of high school. that's when she started to hang around some people i really didn't care for. a lot of them drank, smoked and i wasn't to impressed with that. she never did those things, but she still hung out with them all the same. we got jobs, were busy with school and had less and less time for each other. but when we did find the time, it was back to the same friendship that had always been there. it had just been dormant.

on the night of our senior sweet heart dance, we ended up going. her, going with her friends and me going with a good friend. i met up with her and we chatted, danced, and got pictures together. her friends decided they wanted to leave early and since they were her ride, she needed to go. i went to give her a hug and when i did, the spirit prompted me to ask her to stay. so, i did. trinity said no, that they were her ride. i then, got this horrible, urgent feeling that she needed to just stay with me. i told her that i would take her home. she again, said no, but thanks and i watched her say goodbye to me and walk out the door.

the last dance and time i saw trinity

i found out the following monday that she got into a car accident. one of her friends was riding a motorcycle and her other friend (who she was driving with) had a old truck she was driving. the friend on the bike cut in front of them, causing her friend to swerve to not hit him and she hit a tree instead. trintiy 's head got hit by a branch of the tree and basically mashed half her head in.
i spent the next week at the hospital with her mom and her ex-boyfriend. none of her other friends who caused this mess ever showed up. i was there in the room with my dear friend when we decided to take her off life support. i was there holding her hand the moment her body died. my young heart of 17 has never known such sorrow. i didn't function well after that. day after day, i really didn't do much. the funeral was a blur of tears and memories. towards the end of my senior year, my heart was still raw and i was in much despair when the spirit told me that i needed to re-read all the letters and notes that trin had ever written to me. while i was doing that, i came across this letter from her...

my sixteenth birthday

dear jane,
well, my best friend is finally 16 years old. i'm very happy i'm here to share this special event in your life. i hope it's all you wish for and more. no one deserves happiness better than you. go for all your dreams. i know you will always be highly successful in life in all you do. i have always looked up to you, and no not because you're taller than me but because you are a person who has all the standards that people only dream of. you're the best. don't change for anything or anyone. most of all watch out for those guys. they'll enter and leave your life, but i'll be in your life forever. remember they can do more harm than good, but no problem i'm here to watch over you. i'll never leave your side. anyway, i hope you like your gifts. i want you to know you're the most important person in my life and i love you.
love, trin

at that moment i felt her, really FELT her give me a hug and i knew she was watching out for me. that she was by my side. i thanked my heavenly father for allowing her to love me, to be my friend, for me to know her. i was able to progress in my life after that. i had the strength just knowing i also had her as well as my Savior on the other side cheering me on.

when i moved to england, i kept having a nagging feeling that i needed to do the temple work for trinity. i put it off for many years until one day it seemed that i heard trin yelling at me to just baptize her already. it caught me off guard. i looked at the mister and told him that i needed to find out what i should do to make this happen. after some searching, praying and counsel, everything magically fell into place and i was able to go to the the london, england temple and be proxy for my dear friend and had the mister baptize me. once again, the Lord let me feel her hug me and i knew she was rejoicing. i feel the spirit so strong EVERY time i think of her or that moment at the temple.

i still miss my friend.
she would have been 31 years old today.
my heart still aches for her.
she was unique, one of a kind.
i love her.
and i will rejoice with her the day we meet again.