SO, it's that time of year again. yup, halloween. with that comes the best of the worst halloween trilogies of ALL. TIME. the evil dead trilogy. my friend raymond introduced me to the underground cult that is the evil deaders my senior year of high school. the endless hours of mocking and continuous evil dead parties that i partook in, well let's just say i've lost count. my favorite of them all is army of darkness with quotes from the movie actually on my ipod. "give me some sugar baby" has to be the greatest single line in a movie. ever. for the majority of the healthy you, you probably need some history of these movies. here it goes...evil dead- has bruce campbell in it. that alone should tell you something but for some reason the director sam raimi really intended for this to be a scary movie. with bruce campbell? uh, okay. it failed miserably and it is really a terrible, terrible movie. which in my book makes it absolutely AWESOME!
evil dead 2- with bruce campbell again. with the first failing terribly, the director (still sam raimi) decided to ham it up... a little bit. uh, it still has bruce campbell. maybe the director should have learned his lesson the first time instead of trying to make it a little funny with a 'trying to still be scary'. oh well, more fodder for me...
army of darkness- again, the BEST of the three. FINALLY the director (yep, sam raimi) learned his lesson from the first two and decided to make the most RIDICULOUS film ever made with a budget in hollywood. seriously this movie is so great. just being able to watch the poor special effects of skeletons marching in military clothing and playing a piccolo is worth it's wait in gold. and the quotes! oh, the quotes! let me share the gems with you.
Ash: Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?
[Sheila wants to apologize to Ash]
Ash: First you wanna kill me, now you wanna kiss me. Blow.
Sheila: But what of all those sweet words you spoke in private?
Ash: Oh that's just what we call pillow talk, baby, that's all.
Ash: [to the Witch] Yo, she-bitch! Let's go!
[Upon getting the powered glove in place of his right hand]
Ash: Groovy.
[In a passionate moment of romance]
Ash: Gimme some sugar, baby.
Arthur: Are all men from the future loud-mouthed braggarts?
Ash: Nope. Just me baby... Just me.
[as undead Ash stands triumphant on catapult]
Ash: Buckle up Bonehead. 'Cause you're goin' for a ride!
Sheila: You found me beautiful once...
Ash: Honey, you got reeeal ugly!
[after Ash chops up Evil Ash with a chainsaw and throws him into a hole]
Evil Ash: You'll never retrieve the Necronomicon! You'll die before ya get it!
Ash: Hey! What's that you got on your face?
Evil Ash: Huh?
[Ash throws dirt on Evil Ash's face]
Ash: See how that works?
Ash: That's it, go ahead and run. Run home and cry to mama!
no really, these are actual quotes. OH THE BEAUTY OF IT! i could go on but i'm afraid i probably lost you at "SO, it's that time of year again." if i haven't, you are a true soul mate and destined to be my friend forever. enjoy halloween everyone. you certainly know i will :)
