"welcome back to the bad
mommy's club. you sure have been
enjoying those cookies....
do you think you will be leaving anytime soon?"
SO, if you remember the last time i was in the {bad mommy's club} it was pretty close to this time last year. this year seems to be even worse. i have years like this. i get just unbearable and i can't bear anything. i seem to be stuck in this terrible rut of pessimism (more than my usual self) and people's happiness is really starting to piss me off. well, today i was once again brought back to reality from my oldest. this is how it went....
elise came home with her friend after sleeping over at her house. i asked her to play downstairs with everyone so that i could finish cleaning. which by the way is all i have been able to muster today. baking seems like a joke, but we'll see how it goes. i just can't function lately. but i digress, elise took everyone downstairs where they immediately began to become obnoxious. then elise started. "okay kids. i'm going to be the mom and everyone will listen to me. you, come here! i need you to get this and take it over there. MICHELLE, sit down! uh, you kids are driving me nuts! you just. never. listen! okay, we are going on a trip and you better listen or you'll be spending our whole vacation stuck in the hotel room! okay, let's go."
ouch. ouch and a cringe. i know where she is getting this. i hope it's a tad exaggerated but i'm afraid it's probably not. *sigh*. i have been brought back to reality with a LARGE thud. i hate being such a bad mommy. i hate being such a grump and a meany. this is just the roughest time of year. i may still be non-functional and my house may still drive me to the brink of being suicidal but i need to keep my mouth shut. i REALLY don't want my kids remembering me this way let alone act like that when they are playing house. crap. this means i'm actually going to have to work on being a better person this winter. drats.....
p.s. apparently in my daughter's mind i speak british too. because that's how she talks when she's pretending to be the mom. maybe it's not all me she's getting it from after all. hopefully....
