SO, today i had a staff meeting for my work. we talked mostly about customer service and how much that makes a difference in the attendance of our membership. it was inspiring, motivating and it made me emotional to remember my first experience with the gym and how it changed my life.
5 months after michelle was born, i had a friend of mine named {heather} who kept talking about this great gym and how much she loved it. she kept encouraging me to go with her and do the two week trial but i never would. one day i finally gave in.
when i walked in that first day, my health was bad. i only weighed 98 pounds. my body had not only been through a horrible pregnancy but i was trying to recover from 16 years being anorexic*. i was still trying to decide if i was even wanting to get better or not. but as i walked in that day something happened, i knew it was the start of something big. i began to take classes, none of which i particularly liked. i was clumsy, uncoordinated. i just felt plain old silly trying to punch and kick the air. i wanted to give up. that is until i went and took the yoga/pilates class. centergy is what it is called. i was horrible that first day, spending half my time jumbled up on the floor. then the rest period of the class came and i had a sudden rush of emotion come over me. the holy ghost was telling me this is where i needed to be. these women, at this gym were here to teach me. this class was here to inspire me. and so i went back. almost everyday i would go, take centergy and learn from the women who taught. they were normal looking, everyday women. they were happy and supportive and positive. and in going to workout, i become stronger physically and spiritually. i gained confidence as i started to get better. i actually became good at it and in gaining self-worth, i started to eat better which in turn made me feel better. i had a sense of empowerment i'd never had before. i've heard many therapists tell me over the years that {survivors} turn to running/exercise as a way to cope with their past. like they are now strong because they couldn't be strong back then. i don't know if that necessarily applies to me, but i can understand that rational. all i know is, without my friend inviting me to join her that day and without those women to show me that you can exercise, make it fun, and be proud of who you are and what you look like, i know that i wouldn't be alive today. and i'm by no means being dramatic.
don't get me wrong. i've had times, even years since i've joined the gym when i've slipped up and gone back to my old ways. habits that are so very hard to break. but i've found that the more i go and workout, the better i do in my life. it's this gym that is different then any other gym that has helped me. Heavenly Father knew they care about their members. that they want whats best for them. that they are concerned. i know Heavenly Father inspired the owner to start that gym with her caring philosophy to help others, including me. her spirit is the very reason i basically begged her to let me join their team and work for her. (and why it makes it difficult to want to move away.) i'm grateful that Heavenly Father placed these dear people in my life to help me, and i'm grateful that i've recently been listening harder and fervently doing better. i hope that i can inspire and help others just by working there. i know that this new found positiveness comes with the summer but i'm really hoping and striving to keep this up throughout the months ahead. my motto for becoming a better person has been:
WHEN YOU ARISE IN THE MORNING, THINK OF WHAT A PRIVILEGE IT IS TO BE ALIVE; TO BREATHE, TO THINK, TO ENJOY, TO LOVE.
--marcus aurelius
i am trying and with any luck i might actually become a better person. who knows, it might just happen.
*that is for a whole other post i'm not sure i want to write. but if you have questions, by all means ask me. i'm not ashamed at the fact that i've struggled with it for so long. and i know i'll struggle with it for the rest of my life. only God can help me through each day in avoiding relapse. i can't hide it, because if i do it means i'm back in it and that's not a good thing.*
