SO, have you seen this movie? if not, what are you waiting for? and if you have, wasn't it freaking awesome? i love love loved this movie. so clever and any movie that makes 80's references is golden in my book. LOVE.
now on to the most depressing, almost unbearable review of 'alice in wonderland'. i will describe my anguish in a letter to my most loved man:dear {tim},
i must first tell you how incredible you are. from the moment i watched 'pee wee's big adventure' my obsession began. my love abounded with the abundance of perfect movies you made throughout my childhood and teenage years. i was known to quote "mars attacks" lines over and over to the annoyance of my friends. i would re-sight lines from your short stories and i even dreamed that these movies were meant just. for. me.
now, i realize that you can't be perfect all the time because if you were perfect you wouldn't have re-made 'planet of the apes'. what were you thinking? you must have had a serious dose of crack to think that was a good movie. but over time i forgave you. you know why? because you then made a succession of brilliant movies that only made my love for you grow even stronger.
then you made 'alice in wonderland'. i forgave you once for losing your game and making a stupid movie but i don't know if i can forgive you again. seriously,i have to ask again, what were you thinking? uh, you could have used that astonishing mind of yours to make it a million times better. it was so hard to watch that it took me three days to get through it and i only finished watching it because i had nothing else to do while walking on the treadmill. oh, dear man. how distraught i am at this moment in time just thinking of the movie. sigh. i would love to say that making only two stupid movies over several decades counts as being successful in the movie industry but with your incredible charm, i just don't think so. all i can muster to say is 'dark shadows' better pull through for you and amaze me otherwise i might just love you a little bit less than fanatical. and trust me, you don't want to see what that will be like.
your completely devoted (in the most creepy way) admirer,
jane
