SO, right about three seconds ago was when i realized that i should probably do a post on the holidays. the longer i wait to write it the less relevant it becomes.
sigh.
i've been struggling to find words in how to write the month of december but have instead ignored it and passed my time by watching the telly, sleeping or organizing my home. the husband went back to work and i've now had to find a new routine to fill my days. this seems to be me mostly being lazy. but i digress on the holidays (see, i'll do anything to avoid the subject...)
now i must admit that not ALL the month of december was shot. only PART of it. and it was only shot because it wasn't a vacation. but it was very much needed of me and my family. so for this reason, i'm dividing up the month. the vacation and the work.
HOLIDAYS PART ONE:
the beginning of december was lovely. the husband returned home, we found our groove as a family again, i went on a 6 day much needed break and we left for arizona christmas eve. we arrived just in time to say goodbye to everyone who had gathered at grandma's for dinner. nice. we pretty much unpacked and went to bed.
christmas was better. spent time with my family and then the remainder of the day with the husbands side. it was nice to see everyone again. it had been ages since we had seen anyone. no one had ever met wesley before, nor had we met many of our nephews. the time went by very very fast.
i spent time with my lovely friend todd and played at some old stomping grounds of my childhood. it was the first time since having an eating disorder where i literally was relaxed to be back in my old home town. i didn't find excuses to run away or hide. i was strong and i stuck to my eating routine. (except for christmas. blah.) i even went out to dinner with my side of the family , something that was always a huge issue for me. but i enjoyed the meal. i stood my ground as to how much and what i would eat. that night was one of the proudest moments of my recovering life. i don't think anyone, my husband included knew the momentous event that was. it was HUGE. as much as it was a strange feeling, it made me realize that this is what life's supposed to feel like. no insecurities. no made up drama. no lying. it was amazing.
i feel what made our time go so smoothly was because we stayed with the husband's sister, husband and baby boy. they have been a much saving grace in my life. i don't feel weird or in the way with them. i feel i can be myself, fanatical eating habits and all without any judgement passed. it's a comfort. so staying with them made our lives easy. they are laid back and totally HILARIOUS. so many nights were spent staying up far to late laughing hysterically. so very very awesome. memories like that are worth the lack of sleep.
***i think i need to end this post as is. i feel it's to lovely to tarnish it with the next half of the month. for this reason, i will do a separate post on the subject. it just may be a couple days. i still am struggling with how to say what i experienced.
