SO, it's been almost exactly two years since i wrote {THIS} post. in those two years i have tried with many struggles to reform myself into a much better, happier person. and while i feel that i have changed for the better, some people haven't either given it much thought, are jealous of my work or simply don't think i've changed enough. either way, it's made me feel like all the hard work i've done in my life to improve has been in vain. i know it shouldn't matter what others think, and finally i'm at the point where it doesn't but it still stabs at my heart knowing i've never gotten any sort of response, praise, or even criticism by the person who sent me in motion to change. could i really not have made an impact? have i really not changed? is it not enough? at this point, i don't care anymore. i'm proud of all the hard work i've put in to becoming a new me and leaving the old me behind. i'm grateful that i can see myself with better eyes then i ever have. and i don't care if this person does or doesn't agree. their silence has said all they needed to say.
because of this, i feel i'm done. i need to walk away and move on. i need to know that i can be loved unconditionally without any judgement. that i can find the support in continuing to always grow and learn. i can't do that with this person around. sometimes life is difficult, with horribly heart aching decisions. decisions a person may not want to make.
i guess i've made that hard decision. and my life for better or worse will never ever be the same.
