SO, my life seems to be in shambles of late. because of this it's been a bit hard to really try to find the good in my days. vanilla scones and some beautiful multi-colored roses my girls got me have helped. i've been loving my kids more. holding them in cuddles for longer. with my life in shatters i'm still wondering if it's worth trying to put back together. i don't think it is, but others seem to disagree. keep in mind these are the same people who accused me of single handedly destroying my family. while i admit that i have made some incredibly stupid and thoughtless choices and mistakes recently i hardly think that it constitutes the destruction of my family. especially when i have been very lucky in being able to fix the problem and try to move on. it may not have been a great fix, but it's fixed none the less. to make me feel like the most horrible of horrible people was the icing on the cake i suppose. oh, and shortly after that wonderful accusation, these same people told me they forgave me and still loved me. right. because horrible destruction to family=all's well and love. great, well forgive me if i don't do cartwheels with gratitude at your willingness to forgive and forget let alone be surprised if i would want to spend any time with you, being absolutely perfect and all. these people have only reconfirmed why i hate the human race so much. because even the ones closest to you can still end up tearing you apart.
so, i guess my point is please be understanding if the postings are few and far between for awhile. i'm only trying to find my way back to seeing the beautiful in the everyday. right now, everyday just seems quite painful.
as for you in the blogworld, i hope you stay well and above all be happy. until we meet again, go in peace.
****P.S. please don't post comments of inspiration, apologies or other such things. i really couldn't bare them right about now. lots of temple trips and pondering will help me figure out the decisions i need to make. but i appreciate everyone who knows me. i hope you know that!****
