SO, have i mentioned how much i hate referrals? because i do. wesley is getting tubes put in his ears tomorrow morning at the wonderful hour of 7:30am. and i have spent the better part of three weeks just trying to make sure he makes it to that appointment. it seems some incompetent workers at my insurance company didn't understand the meaning of "evaluate and treat" no matter how many times i said it to them. but i digress on why it was the most disgusting day. today in my last ditch effort to remain on the surgery list for the following morning, i found myself sitting in the referral management office with the mister, wesley and michelle. as i was talking to the surprisingly helpful medical representative, i heard wesley doing some grunting while the mister was holding him. nothing out of the ordinary, until i heard the mister say "uh, i think he's leaking" and then an explosion proceeded out of his shorts, down his legs and onto his daddy. i sat there for a moment kind of shocked at what i was witnessing and then proceeded to laugh at the horror of poop EVERYWHERE! and then i stopped laughing when it wouldn't stop. it just kept coming and then wesley started to cry and wiggle around like he was trying to get out of his pants which caused the poop to spread all over even more. the poor lady who was helping us, jumped up and ran to get paper towels and a garbage can. after wrapping wesley up like a make shift mummy, we made our way down the hall to the only bathrooms that had a changing table. wesley screamed bloody murder while i tried to get all his clothes off, it seemed the poo went all the way up his back to his neck! can i just stop here and say "ew, ew, ew, ew, ew"? that's basically what i was thinking the whole time i was trying to clean him. nothing was really working, wipes were useless and paper towels, yeah they sucked. so what did i have to do? well put him in the sink, of course. did i mention that wesley was screaming bloody murder this whole time? because he was. and i just kept thinking to myself "please no one come in. please no one come in!" because no one wants to see a women with a hysterical baby covered in poop. in a sink. in a hospital bathroom. i finally managed to get wesley clean, put a new diaper on him, wash his nasty nasty NASTY clothes, sanitize the sink with hot water and soap and make my way back to the referral management office with a diaper only child, a soaking wet husband (from trying to get the crap off of his clothes and unfortunately for him, he couldn't walk around in only his underwear like wesley) and a daughter who was utterly freaked out. her two quotes from this horrendous event? one: "i didn't do that when i was a baby." and two: " that's really gross. good thing wesley didn't poop in your face." that's my girl, always thinking of the worst case scenario.
i did get the referral done. but only after leaving her office quickly to reassure her i would be back to pick up the paperwork, then proceeding to change 3 MORE nasty diapers before making it back to her office. sigh. poor kid. i kept thinking what could have made him have such explosive diarrhea. then i remembered his food intake from last night to this afternoon. grapes, raisins and pear juice. that's a pretty bad combination. especially the pear juice. that alone would give someone the runs if they had enough of it. yeah, note to self, when you grab the juice from the cupboard, remember to read the label because apple and pear juice look an awful lot alike....
