SO, this book pissed. me. off. it only took me a day to read this book and it mostly was due to the fact that i was so mad that the more i read the more i yelled and wanted to finish it just to get it over with. oh, i'm getting so worked up just thinking about it. i've never truly yelled out loud at a book before. oh, i've wanted to chuck books across rooms (twilight anyone?) and i've been upset at the waste of my time, but never ever have i yelled and wanted to throw things and scream and curse. that's how insulted i was. this book is basically a self help book for women who feel "exhausted" by all the responsibilities that they have accrued in their marriage and feel that they no longer have a meaningful relationship with their spouse. uh, okay fine. but here are some of the things that the author says women must do in order to get their husbands back. and as she says "get the man of your dreams." (really, she CONSTANTLY says that in her book. the man of your dreams. all you have to do are these easy steps and you'll get the man of your dreams. dude, WHATEVER.)
-stop nagging. or in other words, just stop saying anything negative to your husband. don't point out any mistakes, don't give your opinion on how you should raise your kids, don't give your thoughts on his ideas, just say "whatever you think". this is even if he thinks that you should burn your house down and collect the insurance. just say "whatever you think."
also, don't point out if your husband misses on exit on the highway. even if it takes driving to the state line for him to realize that he missed it, keep your mouth shut. seriously. she wrote that in this book. why shouldn't we say anything? she says it's because if we nag or give our opinions about stuff that it will remind your husband of his mother and that is a turn off. pointing out any mistakes, well that's just degrading to a man. uh, excuse me but if my husband misses an exit, i'm gonna say something. a person can point out mistakes without being degrading. sheesh. and if a man can't handle a woman telling him he missed an exit, then he has bigger problems to worry about. what the crap is this stuff?
-turn over ALL financial burdens to your husband. EVERYTHING. even if you are better with money then your husband, even it causes your family to go bankrupt, it doesn't matter because according to the author "a man doesn't feel like a man unless he is in charge of the household finances." really, that's what it says. you are supposed to ask for an allowance in cash (because what you do with your money is your business--whatever) and this is what she says a woman should do after handing over the finances:
"do not explain how to balance the checkbook. do not tell him which bills need to be paid.
do not offer any assistance at all unless he specifically asks you for help. he probably won't."
she even goes on to talk about how after she turned over the money to her husband that a few months later their phone was shut off because her husband forgot to pay the bill. what did she do? why, not say anything, of course. she just waited until he realized the phone was off and he paid the bill. wouldn't want to say anything because that would be degrading to your husband. you wouldn't want to have fiscal responsibility or anything....THIS CRAP IS JUST SO ASININE. I CAN'T STAND IT.
she even goes on to say that with the man in charge of the money you will be more financially wealthy because your man will be generous in his allowance with you. and with him in charge, you'll receive more gifts and flowers and nights out on the town because when women are in charge of money apparently we are too stingy. because i guess ALL women think about are material things and getting things from their husbands. who cares that you can't give your opinion, you have a diamond necklace you can't afford. uh, i want to vomit.
-you must have sex with your husband at least once a week. whether you want to or not. whether you are arguing or not. it doesn't matter. it's your duty as a wife to have sex with him at LEAST once a week. okay, i'm too livid to go into details on this one, so we will move on....
-take care of you first. really. the majority of this book is about doing things for yourself first. go out with your friends, buy whatever you want, do whatever you want. tell your husband you're going out. don't ask, just tell him. let him figure out what to do with the kids. blah blah blah. to me this just sounds so selfish. while i agree with her advice of doing at least three things every day that makes you happy, you need to be responsible. i would be offended if my husband came home to TELL me he was going out with his friends. i appreciate that he asks me. i don't need to give him permission, it's just that he was thoughtful enough to ASK.
-turn over your power to your husband. ALL OF IT. every decision, responsibility, everything. again, this just ticks me off too much to elaborate. so we will move on...
-forget about equality. in this book woman are too emotional and need to just accept that a man should be in charge. if women don't they can't be intimate. that is BULLS***! i'm sorry but what? while i agree that men and women are different and that we should celebrate those differences not try to be the same in all we do, i firmly believe that when it comes to intellect, a woman is on par with a man. end of story.
i really do think i need to stop writing. i want to beat up the lady who wrote this book right about now, and i need to stop feeling so angry. what she is writing is so dangerous for women to read and men to get excited about. this book makes women turn into a stepford wife. and what man wants to be married to that? scratch that. what capable, intelligent woman would WANT to become a stepford wife in order to save her marriage? what's scary is that this book is popular within the mormon community. there are blogs and surrendered wife counselors and meetings for women. really. it makes me sick. i'm grateful i have a husband that allows me to speak my mind. i guess he really doesn't have a choice. i'm going to speak my mind no matter what. don't get me wrong, i can compromise, i can listen to all points of view. i don't have to get my way all the time and i certainly know when to keep my mouth shut and what battles to pick. isn't that what marriage is suppose to be about? working together as a team, two intelligent people striving for eternity? because that's certainly better in my humble opinion then blindly following a man....
